growth versus fixed mindset

    For a long time I was a textbook version of a fixed mindset. I had zero goals, no expectation, and was content with a very average, mediocre life where I would no doubt end up as a retail manager at some store I hated. That is what I thought my bar was set at and I was...okay with it. My parents never went to college, never talked about it as an option for us, and in turn never bothered to save for a college fund.

    Fast forward to present day and my mind is damn near at a complete 180. I would say it's at about an 80/20 ratio of growth versus fixed. The main reason for this change requires credit given to two instructors, first Dr. Jennifer Gustafson at Glendale Community College, and second Dr. Kimberly Toms here at the ASU west campus. Them, paired with my own will power, have had the biggest influence on changing me into having a growth mindset.

    To set the scene for Jen (her preferred name), she was my chemistry teacher throughout the entirety of my required chem courses at GCC. When I fist saw her all I could think of was the character Honey Lemon from the movie Big Hero 6, but when she spoke, it was a totally different energy. I remember her starting the class off by saying "Hi everyone, please call me Jen, I'm not here to hold your hand through this course. At your level you should be more than capable to read directions, follow along, and refer to the syllabus for questions. This class will be challenging and I will push you to get through it". She also mentioned that she had no children, and had no desire to have them because she didn't like them, it was perfect. Apart from her introduction, she was my absolute favorite teacher even though she taught a subject that I loathed. She radiated this textbook feminist's energy and couldn't get enough of it. I struggled through her courses heavily, but I always managed to come out on top with a A or a B. The main thing she taught me (aside from precipitation reactions) was capability. She was right about not holding my hand through the course, and she always had me go back to the beginning when I had questions to figure things out, ultimately resulting in me finding my own way. She taught me that I was/am able to do hard things.

    Dr. Toms on the other hand took a much softer approach. She was my career course teacher. The class focused on a lot of topic that are planned out for this semesters TRAIN course. Imposter syndrome, job hunting, interview practice, learning how to get yourself from college and into a career and not just a job. While Jen convinced me me that I can do hard things, Dr. Toms taught me how to acknowledge that I also deserve the things I am working towards. Being able to work through a hard patch is one things, but being able to accept and convince yourself that you deserve the rewards that come after the hard patch is a different kind of hurdle. That takes internal work. I see so many students graduate and feel like they don't know how they even did it and whether or not they  (surprise) deserve that degree. But going through this kind of work, especially in a STEM field, is more than deserving of a degree with YOUR name on it. That's the proof of the work you put in and the reward that is well deserved.

    Having this new mindset has definitely benefitted me in ways that can't be explained by a letter grade. It's taken stress out of different parts of my life and not just from the academic part. It's shown me that not only am I capable and deserving of the degree I'm working towards, but that I am also capable and deserving of having a happy life, a kick-ass career that I GET to go to every day, not one that I HAVE to go to, a loving and supportive marriage, and overall something that is beyond mediocrity. This growth mindset has raised a new bar and shattered the old one.

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